That photo was the 2002 me, in my screen reclaiming safety gear. High fashion, dahling, high fashion. But enough workplace reminiscing.
Happy New Year, Phuktophiles! Phuktomaniacs! Guess what? 2014 isn’t gonna beat me up. I took a new full-time position with an awesome screen printing company. I start tomorrow. I am beyond excited to have a career, and not a job. I can’t wait! It is currently 12:35 pm and I just put down my first layer of acrylic on canvas for 2014.
So, what have I been writing in my therapy journals for the last … 7 years? “_______________ is always making me feel victimized. Why does she do that to me?”, “_____________ has stopped talking to me. What did I do to him? Has he forgotten about me?”, “I don’t feel comfortable in my skin.”, “Why is it always so easy for people to use me and then DROP me?”, “I need to be more creative and make more art.”
2014. You will be the year I solve all of these problems that I have complained about since I started keeping track of my rogue thoughts.
So here is the thing, Phuktomaniacs, I will shrink, and I will grow this year. I will shrink the thoughts that I am no good. I will shrink the feelings of abandonment. I will shrink the negativity that I feel. I will shrink my body by taking better care of myself. I will grow the idea that I am worth more than what I have gotten or have given myself. I will grow a foundation of artistic skills so that I can create more art and feel more confident. I will grow my feelings of self worth by not allowing people to take advantage of me. I will grow my self worth by involving myself in more charitable functions. I will grow my brain by learning new skills, by gaining new knowledge.
I will be KIND to myself.
I will be AWESOME.
I will KICK ASS.
I think I owe it to myself. Don’t you?
I quit smoking just over 900 days ago. It was pretty tough, and I still want to smoke once in a while. I made that change. I mastered those feelings. I can do this, too, right?
BANG!
Happy 2014, Phuktophiles! Drink, write, party, sleep, dance, love, kiss, make art, LIVE, all with gusto!
Charles Bukowski said: You have to die a few times before you can really live.
Well, I think I’ve died enough times. Let’s live.
phuktneurotic 